


hurt

by tinyjoshler



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: "accidental meeting", Insomnia, M/M, NPI references, always gets away with dumb stuff, dumb hs au, implied selfharm, seniors, somehow always gets away with staying out late cliche, tyler hates his parents and always runs away cliche, u know the drill
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-08-29 23:10:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8509183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyjoshler/pseuds/tinyjoshler
Summary: how could being such a sad boy turn around as soon as you accidentally meet some boy you thought you'd never see again? i'd tell you if i knew.





	1. lost and found box

**Author's Note:**

> dont hate me :)

"you have _got_ to be kidding me. you really have to be kidding me. this is the third time this week ! tyler i'm telling you, do this one more time _i'm_ gonna end your life. now stop, you can do that for me, right?" alex scolded tyler many times before over the same reason. tyler wasn't paying attention though, not at all. tyler was concentrating on the small black dot on the ceiling of the bathroom and he wouldn't stop staring.

 

"tyler!" he snapped out of it, raising his eyebrows and shaking his head to stop his focus on the dot. "huh ? i'm sorry, i uh, won't do it again alex." tyler pretended to act like he knew fully what alex was talking about but he really zoned off every time. tyler was an extremely concise person, short and to the point. he mostly does it so people just understand him quickly.

 

"and i know you're not listening because you didn't even reply to my question. well done joseph."

 

tyler rolled his eyes. "yeah, ok whatever. alex, can you do me a favor?" tyler shifted his book bag to where he could reach into it. he pulled out this week's homework and held it out to alex. "help a brother out." alex stared him down before yanking the paper out of his hand. "this is the last time I'm doing this for you. you have got to start doing your homework. you're lucky enough to have any classes with me." alex bared down on the mirror in the bathroom. he scribbled down what he could before the bell rang, signalling that school had finally ended.

 

"i've got to go tyler. i'll see you tomorrow though, bye." and alex left with the words leaving his mouth. tyler stood there for a moment before shuffling around on his feet and walking out of the bathroom. tyler walked down the halls with the last bit of the car riders. tyler then waited on this mom. and waited. and waited. and waited. he tapped his foot and crossed his arms, leaning up against a brick pillar. his book bag was left on the ground next to him. he was told to come inside and call his parental guidance about 15 to 20 minutes ago but he wasn't looking forward to going back inside and when he decided that it was getting a little to late for his mom to pick him up, he started walking. he honestly was ready to just pass out on the ground right now from his extreme lack of sleep. tyler dragged along, knowing his house was only two more blocks down. tyler looked up at the darkening sky and watched small dots of light spark out. he smiled to himself and started walking again.

 

once he finally got home he didn't even bother taking off his book bag he just went straight to the fridge, grabbing an apple. he set his book bag down at the table and grimaced at the pain, rubbing his shoulder roughly. he didnt even want his apple anymore as a rush of panic ran through him like bullets until he realized it was just zack walking down the stairs.

 

"stay out a little too late?" he drawed out when he got to the bottom of the staircase. tyler stood frozen for a moment before shrugging, he really was not in the mood for any talking. zack took that as a yes and nodded, starting to walk up the stairs again. "i hid junk food under the kitchen sink by the way." his voice faded into nothing as he went up the staircase. tyler sighed and crouched down to the cabinet under the kitchen sink, quietly pulling out a bag of chips.

 

"treat yourself joseph," he mumbled to himself, trying to impossibly open the bag quietly. he slightly shifted his eyes to the movement he couldve sworn he had seen in the corner of his eye. he sauntered over to the window and noticed someone running from a dog, one of them yappy ones. but, really? a  _dog?_ it would've been the most ridiculous thing to say you were chased by a small yapping dog through some strangers yard  _and_ they're _watching_ you. tyler was extremely temped to open the door and he went on with his temptations. 

 

"hey!" 

 

the guy froze in his tracks before turning back at the sound of running paws. "sorry dude!" and he left. 

 

tyler closed the door without any thought, turning around face-to-face with his mother. his breath hitched and his eyes sealed tight. he left the box of his house and ended up in his own little room. completely white. only thing in the room? him and a piano. the taste of metal with the stickiness of honey seeped into his mouth as white noise filled the room. it was suffocating. static filled the air as he tried to move but nothing was working, no matter what he tried. something made him snap out of it and it was the silence of the house. tyler's heart was racing, running - no - sprinting and pounding onto his chest. his stomach was stirring and he didn't hesitate to run to the bathroom and throw up. 

 

now the only thing running was tears down his face. 

 

he cleaned himself up then slightly stumbled over his feet as he walked out of the bathroom. he tried to gain balance once he got into the kitchen.

with a huff, he opened his bag of chips without worrying about anyone coming back down there. he walked up the stairs quickly, knowing damn well of the piles of homework he had left. he ignored the procrastination weighing down on him and pushed open his door. he picked up the blanket from the floor and put his chips on the side table as he threw his blanket over his bed. he laid down over the top sheet and did nothing but eat his chips. he shifted out of an awkward position and closed his eyes. it felt like his eyes were burning from being awake all day. he rubbed his eyes with his wrist and he turned over on his side, putting the chips back on the side table.

he passed out afterwards with his stomach aching like hell.

||||

"yeah dude, this tiny little dog was chasin' me and i was terrified." the guy paused "don't laugh at me! it tried to bite my whole leg off! but anyways so like apparently someone had saw me and they were like 'hey!' and i flipped. like, what."

 

his group stood silent for a moment before bursting into laughing fits. all this guy did was roll his eyes and look out into the crowded hall, meeting face-to-face with some boy. they were both silent, knowing pretty well who each other were.

 

"so, you're the one who was chased by that wee little dog?" tyler asked, trying to fight the smile he wanted to hold.

 

"uh, yeah, um- about that - uh. ok let's just forget about that, ok?"

 

"i'll try but i doubt i will. it's something that doesn't happen everyday." tyler bit his tongue

 

"yeah, it doesn't. well if we ever do bump into each other, which i doubt, my name is josh. i know you, you're tyler. the 'weirdo' everyone sometimes speaks of."

 

tyler's heart stopped, dropped and left tyler's chest. "ah uh, yea i guess that's me. uh, i've got to.. go. bye." tyler branched off away from him and walked to his first block class. he looked at the board with various drawings and social media usernames.

 

"welcome to the first block of the last day, remember the homework i assigned?" _nope._ "don't worry about it. we're going out on the field today in 3rd block, we will be changing classes today. do not leave your book bags in here."

 

the teacher kept droning on and on and on and on and on until tyler looked around and saw everyone on their phone tyler took out his phone and sighed, scrolling through the countless texts from his mother yesterday.

 

mom: tyler are you okay?? where are you

sent at 23:45

 

mom: tyler, get home now ! please hurry.

sent at 00:02

 

mom: you're getting it when you get home

sent at 00:37

 

mom: tyler is that you in the house or your brother??

sent at 01:13

 

mom: i'm coming downstairs, i heard you yell. are you okay?

sent at 01:20

 

you: hi mom.

sent at 8:05


	2. bathroom pass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm tired and stressed all the time. short chapter and i never know how to end chapters bye.

tyler held a hand over his phone screen so he could actually see it outside. his friends were talking on and on about college and their own future and the family they're going to have. yuck. tyler propped his head with his arm, scrolling through his old texts with older friends. he let out a dragged sigh as his friends silenced and looked over at him.

 

"are you alright tyler ?" alex asked wearily, something laced in his voice. tyler just nodded, didn't say a thing.

 

"hey-a come on tyler, it's the last day of school and you've only been hanging out with us, why don't we go find some more people to start talking to ? it'll be fun, i swear" ruby spoke out right after tyler nodded. she was the interrupting type of person, never knew when to shut up. got her in trouble a lot too.

 

tyler thought about what she said. he really did agree with her, he should start talking to other people but.. then again everyone pretty much would cringe at the thought of tyler, not even tyler joseph just tyler. the name tyler brought disgust to probably, let say everyone. everyone in his small group was still quiet, waiting on his reply. tyler looked up for a moment.

 

"i guess."

 

"perfect ! let's get to it." ruby smiled and tyler rolled his eyes, he knew it would only be for today and then he wouldn't ever have to talk to this person again. everyone stayed on the bleachers but ruby and tyler. they walked around the entire football field and throughout that ruby would point at random people and ask tyler the same question. ruby pointed at one last person that caught tyler's eye.

 

"what about him?" she was pointing at that boy, joe? john? j something. tyler shrugged. ruby took that as a "yeah sure." because the any other person she had pointed at, tyler would make some sort of face or just straight out say no. ruby started skipping over there (it was more of an every now an then i'll skip but i should walk), leaving tyler behind. tyler was lucky enough to have her as a friend, hell, the entire football team wanted her but she still hung out with tyler. she met up with the j dude's friends and was talking for what seemed like 20 minutes but was a sad enough 5 minutes. tyler was getting nervous as he picked up small dandelions from the ground and tied them together. he had made it come to a full circle as soon as he saw flats and a pair of tennis shoes in his range of sight. he dropped the flowers and looked up once a piece of paper fell into his lap.

 

"ruby told me to give that to you. don't expect me to reply though." that guy, john ?

 

ruby punched his arm. "josh!"

 

ding ding ding

 

tyler picked up the paper and unfolded it.

 

~~dont txt m e~~ <\- sorry, ack.

 

#: ***-***-****

insta: joshuadun

 

~~kill me omg~~

^ sorry. ignore!!

 

 

tyler had a confused look on his face.

 

"i thought you said we-"

 

"i know i said we would never talk again but just, don't. just don't say anything to anyone ok?"

 

tyler just shrugged, putting the paper in his back pocket.

 

ruby whispered 'that's a yes' into josh's ear and josh walked off. all his buddies were talking to him, asking him loads of questions about ruby, not even bothering to speak about tyler. tyler looked at his little flower crown in embarrassment and pulled it apart. he got up and walked away, stressing everything that had just happened. ruby walked up behind him and started walking by his side.

 

"you're lucky tyler, almost had to lose my life tonight. guys are wild, i wish i was one so i wasn't harassed all the time. y'know? i'm lucky enough josh didn't ask for anything. hey tyler, did you know there's a rumour that josh is gay? yeah, it's crazy. sorry, I'm not letting you talk. oops." ruby stopped walking and tyler paused, looking at her.

 

"i ran into josh last night and earlier and yeah."

 

"oh?" ruby quizzed, obviously wanting to know more.

 

"yeah." tyler looked up then to his left then down. he did not feel anything at the moment, nothing was bugging him to say something and he suddenly had the odd feeling of not even existing. he stood still as white noise filled his ears and drained into his throat. suffocation. his hands wrapped around his throat as he struggled to let out a cough. ruby looked at him, concerned annnd she bopped him on the back of the head on accident, meaning to hit his back.

 

"oh sh-f-ack! im so sorry tyler!" ruby held her hands up to her chest, wide eyes full of worry. tyler coughed a couple times before looking at her.

 

"your aim really sucks ruby."

 

"that is _surely_ what she said."


	3. locker combination

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wild week = wild chapter
> 
> roughly 90% of this chapter is texts until the end.
> 
> maybe fluff.

josh sat on his bed, wondering when he'd receive a text from literally anyone. today was plain. boring and just nasty. nothing was happening to josh but loads was happening to tyler.

 

tyler sat. and thought. wondered with the number typed in if he should send his texts. he quickly tapped send and locked his phone not even realising that it the number had fallen under a contact.

 

you: kachow

 

sent at 17:36

 

josh felt his phone vibrate, looking at his screen that read,

 

 **ty ty** : kachow

 

sent at 17:36

 

you: hey ty :) hru?

 

sent at 17:39

 

tyler checked his phone before his mouth dropped open.

 

 **josh-oo-ah** : hey ty :) hru?

 

sent at 17:39

 

you: YOU'RE JOSHUA ?????

 

sent at 17:42

 

 **josh-oo-ah** : a'hang on what.

 

sent at 17:42

 

you: this is TYLER. from SCHOOL. you're the dude i've been best friends with????

 

sent at 17:43

 

 **josh-oo-ah** : im gonna kill myself.

 

sent at 17:55

 

you: oh wait heck no. u know who i like heck heck heck heck heck HECK

 

sent at 18:00

 

 **josh-oo-ah:** im gonna spread rumours ;)

 

sent at 18:00

 

you: NO

 

sent at 18:01

 

you: #blockt

 

sent at 18:02

 

 

tyler was on the brink of crying honestly, this was embarrassing and he wanted to sleep forever. josh knew tyler liked him and now his life was forever over. he didn't expect to find out the coolest guy at school liked him, too? what.

 

you: this still doesn't change how i feel about you. just makes it WORSE

 

sent at 18:06

 

 **josh-oo-ah** : doesn't change how i feel about you either just makes me wanna kill myself because you now have extremely personal info about me and i do too but as long as you keep your mouth shut i won't say anything.

 

sent at 18:10

 

you: ok well i've gotta go eat, we are sorta celebrating my leave? i dunno I'm sure it's just cuz they want me out of the house.

 

sent at 18:11

 

 **josh-oo-ah** : ok. love you

 

sent at 18:12

 

 **josh-oo-ah:** I DIDNT MEAN TO SEND THAT

 

sent at 18:12

 

 

tyler didn't see those, though, he left his phone hidden under his pillow in his room. he walked downstairs and greeted his mom and brother. he sat down at his usual place at the table and rested his head in his arms. he sighed quietly and didn't look up until they called his name. he was embarrassed about the josh deal.

 

he was silent as everyone spoke in prayer, he kept looking side to side frantically like someone was watching him. he closed his eyes as they finished up the prayer and opened them back up when they were done.

 

"tyler i hope you know that we all love you and we will be here for you." his mother soothed his paranoia from a blazing flame to a warm blanket. 

 

he blinked, holding the longest eye roll back.

 

"i love you guys too. can i lay down? ive got a migraine. pain is ranging up down and sideways."

 

his mother sighed. "thank god it's friday. go ahead"

 

tyler nodded, slowly walking up to his room. he was stressing everything about josh, all the personal info, all the late night calls, everytime josh would come to tyler crying. everything. how did tyler not find out who josh was earlier?

 

maybe it was because tyler never sent photos and josh was too insecure. maybe cause tyler kept school stories to himself. maybe because tyler was so dumb. tyler should be able to recognize someone's voice that cried to you for your constant help at 04:05 in the morning. the voice that sent chills down your spine and just the slight name tyler coming out of his own mouth made you feel like your chest would explode. that's stupid. stupid, s-t-u-p-i-d . stupid.

 

 **josh-oo-ah:** ok so i sorta did mean to send that but i really do. i care about you a lot ??? like we are the best of friends and if people at school knew about our friendship they'd prolly say it's friendship goals. but i was thinking for an extremely long time while looking through our old texts and i was starting to pick up hints. hurry up and get back so i can pull this all into a conclusion

 

sent at 18:47

 

you: suspicious. please conclude.

 

sent at 19:02

 

 **josh-oo-ah** : right, wow oksy so. can we just sorta hury up? like pick up somw slavk ??

 

sent at 19:05

 

you: hurru up an ?d

 

sent at 19:05

 

you: oops

 

sent at 19:06

 

 **josh-oo-ah** : hurry up and get together. me and you. tyler joseph and josh dun. we, us.

 

sent at 19:27

 

you: srry. fell asleep. u took forever but lemme raise some anxiety for u ;)

 

sent at 20:42

 

you: joshua, we're best friends, have been for like 3 if not 4 years. well actually since i was 13 so 5 years. we've been through the entire universe mentally together. we took on so much and if today didn't mark the day something happened to me, tyler joseph, you know, the "weirdo" you told me about ? if nothing happened to me today, if you wouldn't have taken the chance to reply to me today. i would not be here. like, i just wouldnt. but that is not the point. the point is, yes, we can hurry up but in what way? do you want to progress our friendship even more ? do you want to hang out a lot more now that i know you live here ? do you want to "join" together in a relationship ? i do want you to ask me the question you are wishing to ask. thanks.

 

sent at 21:00

 

tyler locked his phone and put it in his back pocket, he silently walked down stairs, grabbed a snack and left out the quietest way he knew. he went back upstairs and closed his door. he walked over to his window that was already previously opened due to the hot weather. he reached out for the ladder right next to the window and tried his best to scoot it closer to the window.

 

he got the ladder to a place he was liking and crawled down it. he waited for a reply from josh now.

 

and like magic, here it was.

 

 **josh-oo-ah** : tyler. i have a question.

 

sent at 21:57

 

you: shoot. also give me ur address.

 

sent at 22:00

 

 **josh-oo-ah** : 365 peach lane

 

sent at 22:01

 

tyler put the address into the maps app and started walking. he sighed and then took a deep breath of the night air. his eyes felt heavy but he just shook it off. he crossed his arms and thought of ruby. did she plan this ? tyler did remember showing her some screenshots from older conversations. he shrugged and shook out the thought. 

 

 **josh-oo-ah** : why do we have to wait? why do humans have to wait for everything that is given to them ? why cant you just know ? why cant we live our lives knowing who is going to end up dying with us ? why cant we know who is going to be there to hold you hand when you're scared and who will be there to hug you when you need one the most ? why ??? is ??? life ??? tyler, please explain why we have to wait for what gives the meaning of life to us ?

 

sent at 22:12

 

you: because we need time to live. if we had everything now, we would no longer find a reason to live besides just talking to the same people until death does eventually come. life is made with difficulties for that reason. so we wont have to live constantly wanting to die. sadly, that is still people's mind set, wanting to die, because they havent found anything right. it is wild but, you know.

 

sent at 22:20

 

 **josh-oo-ah** : is that u throwing twigs at my window would u stop omg 

 

sent at 22:24

 

you: let me in ur house b. 

 

sent at 22:24

 

tyler sat on the porch steps and waited until he heard the glass door open. he stood up and tried to smile but failed once he noticed josh's puffy eyes and red cheeks in the slight glow of the moonlight. 

 

"what happened."

 

tyler crossed his arms and tapped his foot.

 

"you make me anxious tyler."

 

"you make me melt josh."

 

josh shifted from where he was standing and let tyler in. he knew josh had to talk to him. josh directed him down the hall to his room. it was somewhat clean, reasonable. tyler sat on the bed and his eyes his followed josh as he paced slightly before he locked the door. 

 

"we gotta be silent if we are gonna talk. i mean, if you want to talk."

 

tyler just nodded and josh returned it.

 

josh sat down next to tyler and it felt like his heart was going to explode if neither of them said anything. tyler was feeling the same thing. they stayed silent for what felt like years but was actually like 2 minutes and 6 seconds.

 

"we do need to hurry up, josh. we need to hurry up and quit fooling ourselves. we need to hurry up and quit acting like we dont know what's going to happen. we need to hurry up and live for the present and forget the past, never think of the future. we do need to hurry up josh, hurry up and get together. we need to hurry up dont we ? you'd want that right ? but would you want to live your life after living and dealing with me for so long that you dont wany to live anymore ? not because of me but because you had me when you wanted instead of waiting? so you can depend on me for a couple years if not decades and then get tired of dealing with the same thing, doing the same thing, living the same life and no matter what exciting thing you to one day, it'll just end up being in the past? you want that ? because if you do, i can give it to you, josh. because i care about you, i love you and i want you to have the things you want so you are happy. just know that happiness will fade once you've done everything you WANT to do with me."

 

josh looked at tyler dead in the eyes with his mouth slightly ajar. 

 

"if the happiness ever faded, the slightest bit, i would change everything about me and you. tyler, i really like you and obviously you've felt the same way for long enough so let me ask you, are you stable enough to withhold a relationship with me? we don't have to worry about what people at school think, school is over until college and that's if we even go, but tyler, god you make me the happiest person in the world. i care about you just as much as you care about me, so, are you stable or not? and if not, i'll wait. i'll wait for years because i know we met for a reason."

 

tyler sat in silence for a couple minutes before looking at josh.

 

"then wait."


	4. calculators

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nothing adds up in my life 99% of my weight is the bags under my eyes so I'm only like 3 pounds. I've also learned that my notes are useless they just tell u how i am. 
> 
> no txts this chapter tho (i think, ill edit when I'm done.)
> 
> today is the day we find out if treyvon killed himself and if not he's gonna get slapped (11/30)
> 
> he didnt get slapped but he wore shades on the bus and got picked on (11/30)
> 
> happy birthday tyler !!! (12/1)
> 
> short chapt.

tyler rubbed his eyes and stared at josh's ceiling as josh droned on about whatever he could think of, right now he was on the topic of why he wants a cat so bad. but tyler could barely stay awake, his eyes would fall and josh would nudge him awake every now and then. tyler was honestly confused on how josh stayed awake so easily.

 

tyler informed josh how tired he was and josh nodded, staying quiet for tyler. tyler didn't say anything after, he just curled up to josh and passed out. 

 

tyler was small. like, he was a bit taller than josh but his build was tiny and he could curl up to the size of a pillow. josh could probably hold tyler's wrist with his pinky and thumb. he was  _tiny_. 

 

josh snaked an arm around tyler and pulled tyler a tad bit closer, feeling his warmth. josh felt around for his buzzing phone with his free hand and accepted the call from ruby.

 

"josh, what are you doing up?" ruby asked as soon as he answered.

 

"well, y'see it's an extremely long story. I'm laying in bed right now, but why are you asking me why  _I'm_ up?" josh quizzed her quietly, trying his best not to disturb tyler, knowing well that he was a light sleeper. 

 

"i just wanted to check in on you, okay? can i not be concerned about you?" 

 

"well i've never heard of anyone who  _isn't_ concerned about me but hey, what's new with you, also try to be quiet." 

 

"alright but why?"

 

"it's late, why do you think why? also, tyler's sle-"

 

"tyler?"

 

josh felt his heart sink as soon as he heard her voice change.

 

"uh. tyler?"

 

"is tyler over there? why? how are you two that close?" josh could hear her voice get a bit fainter, not that noticeable but you could tell that she didn't have her face up to the phone. "i'm gonna call him. don't answer if he's with you."

 

the call ended and tyler's phone started ringing almost immediately. josh's heart jumped. he couldn't let tyler wake up, not right now, he's too tired. the ringing wouldn't stop and it was buzzing on the inside of his cranium. tyler stirred in his sleep before his eyes opened slowly. tyler sat up, rubbing his eyes.

 

"god, what." tyler reached for his phone and looked at the contact, sliding to answer the call.

 

"what. i was trying to sleep."

 

josh could hear her say 'oh thank goodness!' over the phone. he rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around tyler's waist.

 

"ruby, please dont worry where i am. it doesn't matter, does it? no so please leave me alone. i am so tired dude."

 

'sorry.' 

 

tyler sighed and checked the time. he sent his brother a text to tell dad and mom he went to hang out with ruby. he sent another text letting him know he wasn't gonna be back until probably tomorrow which was basically today but later tonight. 

 

tyler turned around and looked at josh who still had his arms wrapped loosely around his waist. tyler shifted to where once he lay down he would've been able to face josh. he scooted his way back down into a resting position.

 

"do you know what that was about?"

 

"i accidentally let your name slip out of my mouth when ruby called me. she wanted to know why i wanted her to be quiet and, yeah." 

 

tyler huffed, curling up to josh.

 

"you're so warm. it's not natural. all i know is that it makes me feel safe."

 

josh smiled, holding tyler.

 

"tyler, i have one question, though."

 

tyler hummed quietly. "shoot."

 

"how come you said you you're not really stable for a relationship yet you're 100% ok with doing this? do you even know what it's like to be in a relationship?"

 

"do you?"

 

"well, no but from stories, this is what they do in a relationship 99% of the time."

 

"and the 1% ?"

 

"that's the fun part, exploring with each other, so much to do, ya know?"

 

"no, i don't know."

 

"well, yeah, but, would you rather suffer curiosity than knowing all?"

 

"yes."

 

"okay mr. let me make you feel like this conversation is useless, be quiet for now."

 

"no. hey, josh? even though i did tell you to wait, you're constantly making me regret it."

 

_regret doesn't even begin to start how i feel_

 

"really huh?" a smile spread across josh's face. "that's weird to think about, tyler."

 

"not really, it's just obvious. you make me fall for you over and over again when i think my crush is over you and each time i fall back into you, it's for an even better reason than the start."

 

josh felt warmth rising in his chest and he smiled, one of those really sweet and beautiful smiles where the corner of his eyes crinkled up. the kind that made tyler smile, not as great as josh's smile, but it was great to josh. anything tyler did that made josh happy, made tyler happy. 

 


	5. headphone jack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe fluff :)
> 
> tyler's b-day is over and im back to my winter depression. (12/2)
> 
> today was terrible and i felt like i did not exist (12/2)
> 
> i do not like green eggs and ham i do not like them sam i am (12/6)
> 
> i also forgot about this lol (12/6)
> 
> i am obsessed with the tambourine in hds (12/7)
> 
> i made a mistake and it was terrible (12/9)

"you need to move you bed a little to the left... wait, no my left! your right!"

 

"oh, right." josh huffed as he scooted the bed across the floor to the place tyler wanted it and looked over at him. "is this good?"

 

"yes, now i have an access to an outlet."

 

"are you kidding me?" josh looked at tyler before tyler started laughing. 

 

|||||

 

"mom and dad want you home before they get back from church tomorrow. you're free to hang out with whoever." zack's voice was laced with white noise and the more he talked, the harder it was to focus and/or breathe. 

 

"ok. bye, i love you bro." tyler quickened his talking pace before abruptly ending the call. tyler clamped his eyes shut and tried to find a room that had never been infected with white noise. he was starting to hyperventilate before he felt hands getting a grip on him. his eyes blinked open and he automatically started apologizing. tyler had never been so terrified of what had just happened but he never wanted it to happen again, and if it did, not in front of josh. he'd probably think he's crazy. 

 

"tyler, tyler, it's okay. it's okay, okay? you're fine, i've got you." honey, his voice was sticky like honey and it was the taste of metal in his mouth and yet somehow it calmed tyler.

 

tyler's eyes were dripping salted water as he mumbled inaudible words. the words were mostly along the lines of  _'i just wanna be-'_ or ' _i really wanna die'_ but josh truly could not decipher what tyler said. 

 

josh kept checking the time before he stood up and informed tyler he had to go to work in half an hour, tyler nodded, watching josh walk out of the room.

 

he sighed, fumbling with his phone, listening to every noise that was made. he heard the singing, shower turning off, humming, everything. mostly because he was sitting right next to the door.

 

he heard the door handle open and it was like a completely different person came out of the bathroom. tyler wouldn't have been able to tell who he was if he didn't just sit there.

 

josh smiled at tyler before checking the time.

 

"hey, i've got to go. do you want'a come with?"

 

tyler nodded his head once and stood up, stretching from the terrible posture position he was sitting in. josh and tyler made their way down the hallway, walking out the door and to josh's car. tyler pulled the door handle but it was locked so he tried again when josh unlocked the car so he locked his door, again. 

 

"nice goin', joseph."

 

"thank," tyler waited for him to unlock the door again. "you."

 

josh nodded, watching tyler carefully. the smell of cologne and chocolate burned its way into tyler's head, knowing this was a scent he'd have to get used to.

 

 |||||

 

tyler's eyes dragged across the mcdonald's floor. he had to constantly stop himself from staring or getting jealous if anyone made any other comment besides their order. tyler was patiently waiting for josh's lunch break but his temper was like eugenia cooney, thin as heck. 

 

tyler laid his head down until he heard josh talking to him, or until he had to pee. 

 

tyler sat up and walked around outside before coming back inside to order another drink instead of getting a refill. 

 

"10 more minutes tyler, okay?" 

 

tyler nodded, trading his money for a medium sized cup. tyler walked his way to the drink machine, pouring himself coca cola instead of tea. he went to go sit down and checked his phone, noticing his brother had sent him a text. 'is that you in mcdonalds?????'

 

tyler pressed the home button and put in his passcode. he tapped on the information button and pressed call.

 

tyler didn't think of the high amounts of white noise that was still in his brother's voice.

 

"tyler, i see you in mcdonald's, what are you doing."

 

"im with a fren."

 

"fren or friend, tyler make your mind up."

 

"frens are better than friends."

 

"right, whatever, come outside. can we talk?"

 

"sure."

 

tyler nervously ended the call before getting up. tyler looked at josh and then down at his phone. he walked outside and tapped a text to josh.

 

'brother here. needs 2 talk? be back in a min.'

 

tyler confronted zack quietly, his stomach sank with every step he took. he felt sick.

 

"tyler, what's up? you rarely ever even leave the house and when you do it's just to our backyard." zack crossed his arms half way while tyler answered.

 

"im with a fren his name is josh."

 

"but you never went out places with other "frens" so what's up? why is josh any different?"

 

"i dunno." tyler shrugged along the word.

 

zack sighed, shaking his head. "okay tyler, just, make sure you're home tomorrow or else because dad is already mad you told me instead of telling them."

 

tyler nodded and turned on his heels, walking away.

 

tyler walked back inside and noted that josh was no longer at the register. he walked over to his table and sat next to josh.

 

"what'd he want?"

 

"want'd to know why i was with you."

 

"oh." josh sighed, purposely taking another sip of out tyler's drink. tyler curled his lips inwards, trying not to say anything to josh.

 

they sat, they talked, tyler cried, they laughed.

 

|||||

 

josh was spread out across his bed, tyler sitting next to the bed on josh's phone.

 

"hey, ruby wants to skype with you."

 

"let it ring." josh huffed, listening to the ringing. "i don't know why she likes me."

 

"she was probably just trying to use me to get through to you. sadly her mission failed."

 

"it's not sad. she's petty to me, i'm not gonna play games with the school's main cheerleader. she thinks that she's slick but she really isn't." josh blew air out of his cheeks before sitting up. he hung his legs over the side of his bed, ruffling tyler's hair as he stood up.

 

tyler looked up at josh and got up himself, noting out loud that his butt was in fact, numb, earning a respected laugh from josh.

 

josh and tyler walked down the hall, grabbed an entire box of caprisuns , the almost completely full cheeto puffs bag and strided back down the hall into josh's room.

 

"spill something and i'll kill you."

 

"i need something to kill me in all honesty."

 

"yea same."


	6. screen brightness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluff\\\cyberbullying

tyler laid next to josh, watching his chest rise and fall. josh was alive, he was safe and alive. he also wasn’t some old guy trying to catfish tyler but it was more important that he was alive. tyler curled up to josh, wrapping an arm around him. josh's mouth curved into a smile as he felt tyler shifting around. 

 

it's crazy, how far you can progress in the past day and a half, almost two. tomorrow was gonna be something good. josh could already feel it.

 

|||||

 

" tyler, did you write this?" josh quizzed, holding up a notebook. tyler looked over and shrugged

 

"i guess, yeah." tyler blew air out from his cheeks, watching josh flip through the pages. he rolled over onto his back and fell off the bed, listening to josh laugh at the action. tyler smiled at that sound. the sound was like buzzing bees. 

 

"can i have another caprisun josh?"

 

"yea." josh tossed one to him, accidentally hitting him in the face with it. "shoot- sorry."

 

tyler just laughed it off, checking the time from josh's phone. "dude it's 3 am."

 

"you're kidding right?"

 

"not at all kidding." tyler replied, "also, a thunderstorm, pretty bad im guessing."

 

"a storm, with thunder, tomorrow, when i have to take you home, nice." josh ran a hand through his brown curls and sighed, hugging his left knee and placing his chin on it that would soon be replaced by his cheek.

 

tyler scooted over next to him and laid his head on josh's shoulder.

 

josh didn't notice anything over the loud bumping noise in his head ringing from his heart. he had to say something, it was now or never.

 

"i love you, josh."

 

josh almost had a panic attack, he couldn't breathe. he felt tears brimming his eyes and running down his cheeks. tyler pulled back from him and looked at josh with the highest amount of worry. tyler felt he'd done something wrong by then. mostly because josh was starting to whimper and whine, letting out full-hearted sobs. tyler felt his eyes burning like fire as tears pricked his eyes. he was scared. afraid. terrified. he didn't do anything but watch josh cry for the next ten minutes.

 

**_what a terrible "friend" you are. crying just because he's crying. you're no help to him. he's probably just trying to get you out of his house._ **

 

tyler stood up and walked out the room, wandering around the house for the bathroom. he found the door, walked in, cried some more, washed his face and used the restroom. he came back with a box of tissues for josh. he walked into the room, seeing josh curled up in his bed. tyler stepped over quietly, trying to get to the side that the bed faced towards the wall. he laid next to josh and held onto josh. he was quiet for a moment before josh shifted.

 

"i love you too, tyler."

 

he didn't say anything, not one of them said a word. tyler traced josh's face with his eyes, every little detail. tyler analyzed josh to the best of his ability, unsure if he was ready to tell him he lied about the stability of a relationship or not. tyler wanted to. he wanted to run into josh's arms and embrace in the longest hugs. he wanted everything a relationship had. he wanted to be with josh. he wanted to hear josh tell him that he loved him whether it be over the phone, by voice or by actions. he did want to tell josh oh so bad.

 

he truly did.

 

|||||

 

"so are you like, dating someone tyler? or are you just trying to avoid coming home? what's up?" tyler's mother's voice was low in sweetness and high in white noise. tyler took a tremulous breath before trying to speak.

 

"i- i jus-t want'd t- get out fr a while."

 

tyler's dad walked in afterward. his heart pace started to pick up, knowing his father on the scale was full on white noise and sometimes tyler couldn't here him over the fuzz.

 

"i-ve got'a go.. i dont feel good."

 

"we're all talking tomorrow, you're 18 now, hope you're ready to start packing if you want to do what you want."

 

tyler ran up the stairs, two at a time and snatched his phone from his bedside when he got to his room.

 

you: me. u. tonight. hang out.

 

sent at 15:34

 

**josh-oo-ah:** alright. is everything ok?

 

sent at 15:34

 

you: sorta, talk later, bye.

 

sent at 15:35

 

|||||

 

zack held a hand up to tyler's forehead and sighed.

 

"you're warm but not an excuse to go to the doctors yet. you know they're planning on kicking you out, right?"

 

tyler nodded but sorta shrugged, sitting back down on his bed.

 

"i'm going out tonight. i have to meet ruby and a couple other friends of hers.." tyler spoke, rubbing his shoulders.

 

"i'll text you when you need to come back, you cant be out long like last time. they'll really kick you out then."

 

tyler nodded, knowing well enough he wanted to get out of that house. maybe tyler would even stay longer than he's suppose to. he felt his phone buzz in his back pocket and grabbed his phone, noting it was a new group chat. loads of popular people from school. loads of unknown numbers. hundreds of texts in single minutes.

 

'i heard that tyler boy is going out with josh dun..'

 

'josh dun?? he wouldnt! he's my BOYFRIEND'

 

'i heard he was gonna ask ruby to the dance but hell, he never did.'

 

'josh isnt your boyfriend are you gay.'

 

'tyler's a creep'

 

'tyler joseph? nah, he was in my spanish class. he never talked, never rose his hand. only time i noticed him was if he sneezed or coughed.'

 

'have y'all ever hung out with him? he's sweet.'

 

'ruby you're hazed af.'

 

'josh would never talk to that tyler boy. i know he wouldnt.'

 

tyler stopped scrolling.

 

'i'm honestly waiting for tyler to die. he doesnt make a mark in the world so why should he exist? he probably wants to die anyways lol'

 

'same....'

 

'..'

 

'tyler j has left the conversation.'


	7. kitchen sink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "take care of yourself" // bad stuff happens.

tyler snuck out the window that night.

 

he walked down the street, going to the address he was constantly sent from josh. he heard obnoxious music coming from the exact house, in fact, wasn't this ruby's place? tyler shrugged that off, sending an ' im here ' text to josh and knocked on the door.

 

tyler was greeted by josh's warm hug. tyler stopped for a moment but gladly returned the hug. tyler gripped onto josh's hand, smiling wearily. tyler felt and saw eyes burning through his skull. everyone knew this wasn't how relationships worked. you can not have someone everyone knows and someone everyone doesn't know get together.

 

tyler looked at josh for a second before dragging him upstairs. he knew this place so he knew where to go. tyler pulled josh into a room and allowed josh to speak, holding the door closed.

 

"we nee- you-" tyler and josh spoke at the same time roughly, before josh stopped.

 

"josh, can we talk really quick, it's important." 

 

josh nodded, sitting on the floor crisscrossed legs.

 

tyler locked the door quickly and then he sat down.

 

"i have valuable information right now and i feel it's time you know this? so, remember that wild conversation about relationships yes? right so," tyler's heart was racing and it was getting hard to breathe, his forearm's started to sting as he spoke. "i lied, about the stability thing i just. it was a lot to handle at the time but, josh, if you're honestly 100 percent ready to get into a relationship with me then go ahead but god, this weekend has been the best. i'm gonna get kicked out for sneaking out but it's worth getting this out of my system."

 

josh sat there for a moment, his face growing in redness shade by shade. a smile tracked it's way onto josh's mouth as he stood up.

 

"if you weren't ready you could've just said "hey josh im not ready right now" you didn't have to lie and say you weren't emotionally stable." josh spoke. "also you're gonna get kicked out? tyler, why do you do this to yourself."

 

"my brother will just send me a text sayin-" tyler's phone buzzed

 

**zacc succs:**

 

code red.

 

sent at 03:14

 

"is your car here?"

 

josh nodded

 

"please drive me home now. i'll get in trouble for this one."

 

|||||

 

"turn left. third house on the right." tyler instructed. josh did what he could before they arrived.

 

"bye, tyler, i love you."

 

"i love you too." tyler got out of josh's car and ran, quickly climbing up the ladder to his window. zack was there waiting for him. tyler stepped in his house from the window and quietly tried to close it. josh had driven off already. tyler sighed, turning around and sitting on his bed.

 

"love you too?" zack questioned. "so your 'fren' is someone you love, huh?"

 

tyler's heartbeat skipped, his eyes watering. "i-" he hung his head.

 

"just go to sleep tyler, we all do need to talk."

 

tyler shrugged as zack exited. he sighed, sending josh a text and getting an automatic reply. 

 

tyler pressed the facetime button on his phone and waited for an answer.

 

"hey tyler, what's up?" tyler watched the screen as he slowly realized he was walking up the stairs. his head started pulsing from a migraine he had all weekend. 

 

"migraine. i'm tired, it's late." tyler paused a lot, his eyelids getting heavier every minute. 

 

"you're telling me. i swear ruby's got a stick up her ass over the fact i didn't answer her skype call the other day."

 

tyler rolled his eyes, earning a short laugh from josh. tyler smiled, closing his eyes for a little.

 

"'m so tired." tyler huffed.

 

"i'm about to leave, honestly. i just want to hear your voice for a little longer."

 

the group chat started going off, seeing tyler's name over a thousand times. someone had added him back, why? tyler heard josh's phone going off at the same time, both of their smiles had failed to show anymore.

 

'tyler just left randomly?? lol.'

 

'i saw josh talking to him..'

 

'what ???? ur lying!'

 

'no.. they were i watched tyler walk to him.'

 

'why do we care? tyler is irrelevant, the only one who really matters is josh.. he's the only "cool" one.'

 

'why wont he die??? nobody cares about tyler.'

 

'idk..'

 

"josh. i've got'ta go."

 

"dont, im seeing everything they say so dont leave me."

 

'stop talking about tyler, you guys dont know shit.'

 

'oooo, joshie boy standin up for a stupid boy..'

 

'josh d. has left the conversation'

 

'haha what a baby. hey, tyler, r u gonna leave toooooo???'

 

tyler didn't reply to the chat, he didn't do anything. he returned to the video chat and looked at josh, eyes glistening. josh was frowning.

 

"i'm leaving this party." josh put his phone in his pocket. "dont hang up." josh walked down the stairs and was automatically confronted by about 5 or 6 people.

 

"hey joshie, can we talk?" ruby.

 

"i- i can't."

 

"josh just listen to her." marie.

 

"yeah, why don't you talk to your girlfriend?" amber.

 

"not my girlfriend."

 

"josh please just talk with me.."

 

tyler heard josh sigh and heard a pair of footsteps going up the stairs. tyler didn't make any noise, knowing it would attract attention.

 

"josh, please listen when i tell you, i did not expect you and tyler to get this... this close in such a short time. if you want me to be honest, i only made you guys become friends so maybe i'd be able to scoop up the guts to tell you i'm in mad love with you. but hey, so what." 

 

josh stood up and walked out of the room. he ran down the stairs and left, not even trying to slam the door but he did, on accident. tyler heard josh's car start and drive off.

 

"im sorry you had to hear that.. i didn't expect that to happen, just.."

 

"josh, take care of yourself.. please."


End file.
